LA LA And

Oct 27, 2017
Originally published on October 27, 2017 11:38 am

Paul Scheer and D'Arcy Carden finished their trivia triad with a musical quiz designed to make people from New York feel defensive. We rewrote famous songs about Los Angeles to be about things with the initials "L.A."

Heard On Los Angeles: Famepocalypse Part One

HIGHLIGHTS

D'Arcy Carden On The Nature Of Her Feelings About One Direction

I thought it was a Christian band...And then I saw them and it really was like somebody turned the temperature...You're asking a question that I can't answer.

Paul Scheer On How To Spot A Bad Movie

When you go to a sink, fill your hands with water and then put it on your face and then look at yourself, that's a sign of a bad movie. When you can tell most of the actors are wearing wigs — bad movie.

Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

JONATHAN COULTON: This is ASK ME ANOTHER, NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia coming to you from Los Angeles, Calif. I'm Jonathan Coulton here with puzzle guru Art Chung. Now here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Thank you, Jonathan. We're here in LA playing our nerdy games with famous people. Our first pair of celebri-testants, D'Arcy Carden and Paul Scheer, are about to play their third game where Jonathan Coulton turns SoCal songs into ZeroCal (ph) songs.

D'ARCY CARDEN: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: But first let's check in with D'Arcy and Paul. D'Arcy, you are obsessed with One Direction.

CARDEN: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: You laugh, but it's...

CARDEN: Yeah.

PAUL SCHEER: With or without Zayn.

CARDEN: Yeah, I am an OG. So definitely I have so much love for Zayn, but I also want him to follow his heart.

EISENBERG: Yeah, sure.

CARDEN: And I want them all to follow their hearts.

EISENBERG: But what is it about One Direction that you love?

CARDEN: It doesn't make any sense. It's not really, like, my deal. I'm not, like, obsessed with boy bands. But as soon as I saw them at "SNL" when they did their first, like, American show - and I was like, what is - I thought it was a Christian band (laughter).

EISENBERG: Right.

CARDEN: And then they started, and I was like...

EISENBERG: One direction to God.

CARDEN: Yeah.

EISENBERG: That's right.

CARDEN: Exactly.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

CARDEN: And then I saw them, and it really was like somebody turned the temperature - I don't know - up, down.

SCHEER: Are you attracted to them, or are you just into their music?

CARDEN: You're asking a question that I can't answer.

SCHEER: All right.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Paul, you're obsessed with bad movies...

SCHEER: I am, yeah.

EISENBERG: ...So much, you have a podcast where you discuss them called "How Did This Get Made?"

SCHEER: Indeed I do.

EISENBERG: So OK, how do bad movies get made? I'm sure no one sets out to make a bad movie.

SCHEER: No. Look; everybody thinks they're working on a great movie, but you don't know...

EISENBERG: Yeah.

SCHEER: ...Until it's too late. And I have developed a few rules to determine if you're in a bad movie. Rule number one - the logo card for the movie is way too elaborate. I would say another thing is when you go to a sink, fill your hands with water and then put it on your face and then look at yourself, that's a sign of a bad movie.

CARDEN: Interesting.

(LAUGHTER)

SCHEER: When you can tell most of the actors are wearing wigs - bad movie...

EISENBERG: Oh, yep.

SCHEER: ...Just when you can tell that they're wearing wigs.

CARDEN: Right.

SCHEER: Yeah.

EISENBERG: Good to know. All right. After this game, the contestant with the most points overall will move on to our final round, and the loser will have to deal with stacked parking at the Hollywood Bowl.

CARDEN: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: Puzzle guru Art Chung, remind us how our contestants are doing.

ART CHUNG: Paul is in the lead, but there are a whole lot more points up for grabs in this game.

EISENBERG: You're in luck...

SCHEER: All right.

EISENBERG: ...Because your third game is a music parody called La La And. And Jonathan Coulton is going to lead it, so take it away.

COULTON: In this game, we rewrote songs about Los Angeles to make them about things with the initials L-A. Buzz in and tell me what the thing with the initials L-A I'm singing about is. If you get that right, for a bonus point, you can name the song or the artist I'm parodying. Are you ready?

CARDEN: Mmhmm.

SCHEER: Yes.

COULTON: OK, here we go. (Singing) I don't ever want to feel Botox in my face. Give me something for the pain in that specific place. When you're pulling out my tooth, I will not complain. That's because my face is numb from the Novocain.

CARDEN: Can we ask for a hint? How does...

COULTON: Yeah.

CARDEN: ...The hints work?

COULTON: Yeah, Art Chung. How about a hint from Art Chung?

SCHEER: I feel like I'm - I have the L.

CARDEN: I know.

SCHEER: I just don't have the A.

CHUNG: Well, it's the thing that makes your face numb at the dentist.

SCHEER: Oh.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SCHEER: Local anesthetic.

CARDEN: Oh.

COULTON: That is correct.

SCHEER: And it's Red Hot Chili...

CHUNG: Yeah.

SCHEER: ...Peppers.

CARDEN: Good job, Paul, really good job.

SCHEER: Wow, that was a tricky one. That was...

COULTON: Yeah, that's good. You got the bonus point...

SCHEER: That was a tricky one.

COULTON: ...As well.

SCHEER: Yeah.

EISENBERG: What was the L that you had in mind?

SCHEER: I had laughing gas originally.

EISENBERG: Oh, is that what you were on the...

CARDEN: Laughing ass.

COULTON: Laughing ass.

EISENBERG: Laughing ass.

(LAUGHTER)

CARDEN: So I knew it was...

SCHEER: Yeah.

CARDEN: ...Wrong.

COULTON: I had that for a period of six months. It was...

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: ...Really embarrassing. All right. Here we go. (Singing) It's a dog breed considered lucky. Ancient dog breed - they're small but plucky. They were guard dogs in Tibet. And their name is the capital. Long-haired and fluffy. Long-haired and fluffy.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: D'Arcy.

CARDEN: Lhasa apso.

COULTON: Yes, that's...

EISENBERG: Yes.

COULTON: ...Correct.

(APPLAUSE)

SCHEER: Yeah.

COULTON: Very nice.

SCHEER: That was great.

COULTON: For a bonus point, can you name the song or the artist?

CARDEN: (Singing) Long-haired and fluffy.

SCHEER: Time is up, right, Art?

CARDEN: I know it's up. (Vocalizing).

COULTON: I just - as long as she keeps doing this, she can keep going, as far as I'm concerned.

(LAUGHTER)

CARDEN: What was it?

COULTON: Would you like to know the answer?

CARDEN: Yeah.

SCHEER: Yeah.

COULTON: It's "California Love" by 2Pac, featuring Dr. Dre.

SCHEER: Whoa, right, of course.

CARDEN: (Singing) Long-haired and fluffy. That was the best.

SCHEER: (Singing) Long-haired and fluffy.

COULTON: It's the song long-haired and fluffy.

CARDEN: It was the best song.

COULTON: (Singing) He's not just a well-known stand-up comic - was a cartoon dude, hosted "Family Feud." Now he's the mother of Zach Galifianakis in the "Baskets" crew - won an Emmy, too.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Paul.

SCHEER: Louie Anderson.

COULTON: That is correct. Artist or song.

SCHEER: I don't - I know this song, but I don't know it.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) What? Wow.

SCHEER: Wait, wait?

UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER: (Booing).

SCHEER: Wait, sorry, I'm...

COULTON: Let me give you a hint.

SCHEER: The pressure.

COULTON: (Singing) Long-haired and fluffy.

CARDEN: (Singing) Fluffy.

(LAUGHTER)

SCHEER: I don't know. I forgot.

EISENBERG: It's OK.

SCHEER: I've already forgot...

EISENBERG: It's OK. It's OK.

SCHEER: I've already forgotten what it sounds like.

EISENBERG: OK, Paul.

CARDEN: It sounds like this.

SCHEER: That's the issue I've having now.

CARDEN: (Singing) Welcome to the Hotel California.

SCHEER: Wait, just sing me a line of it again, so I just understand the lyrics.

EISENBERG: She just...

(LAUGHTER)

SCHEER: That was it?

COULTON: That was it.

CARDEN: Eagles.

EISENBERG: The Eagles.

CARDEN: They made us drink backstage. They made us drink.

SCHEER: I just saw Glenn Frey a week ago, and he sang that - literally.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: All right. This is your last clue. (Singing) Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Keira Knightley, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth and Laura Linney. Hugh Grant is the prime minister. This British movie's in its prime at Christmastime.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: D'arcy.

CARDEN: "Love Actually." But I...

SCHEER: I know this one.

CARDEN: You do?

COULTON: Oh, boy.

CARDEN: Because I don't know the song.

SCHEER: Yeah, I know this one.

CARDEN: I got...

SCHEER: Oh, where's the boos?

CARDEN: No.

SCHEER: Where's the boos?

CARDEN: No, because I - they know me. They know my heart.

SCHEER: All I'm going to say is this person brought "Toy Story" music to fame.

CARDEN: Oh, (singing) I love LA.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Yeah, that's right.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: Randy Newman. That's correct.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

COULTON: Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

CHUNG: After three amazing games, congratulations, Paul, you're headed to the final round.

CARDEN: Yay, Paul.

(APPLAUSE)

SCHEER: A fierce competitor.

CARDEN: I wouldn't want to lose to anyone else.

EISENBERG: D'arcy Carden, everybody, stars in Season 2 of "The Good Place" on NBC. Give it up for D'arcy Carden.

CARDEN: Bye, guys. Thank you so much for having me.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.