Lightning Fill In The Blank

Sep 16, 2017
Originally published on September 18, 2017 10:39 am
Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it is time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Paula and Hari have two. Amy has three.

SAGAL: All right. We flipped a coin, and Paula has elected to go second. That means, Hari, you're up first. Fill in the blank. Pharma bro Martin Shkreli had his bail revoked and was sent to jail because he offered to pay anyone who could get him blank.

HARI KONDABOLU: The head of Hillary Clinton?

SAGAL: Close enough.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A lock of her hair.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KONDABOLU: Yes.

SAGAL: In remarks this week, President Trump doubled down on his contention that there were, quote, "bad people on both sides" during the violence in blank.

KONDABOLU: Charlottesville.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a former Arkansas official pleaded guilty to spending government funds on blank.

KONDABOLU: Pigs.

SAGAL: No, a tuxedo for her dog.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the IOC see formally named blank the Olympic host city for 2028.

KONDABOLU: Hyderabad, India.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: Sorry.

SAGAL: Aw, Los Angeles. This week, tennis star Rafael Nadal won the blank to claim his 16th Grand Slam.

KONDABOLU: The U.S. Open.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a massive avalanche trapped them inside a ski lodge, a New Zealand family pleaded with authorities to blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

KONDABOLU: To let them out.

SAGAL: No, to take their time, as they have plenty of wine and TV. What the hell?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Rescuers let them know the day before they could get to them. And they said, don't worry, we've got plenty of booze, and there's a rugby game on. Bill, how did Hari do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Hari got three right, six more points. Hari has moved into the lead with eight points.

SAGAL: There you are. Enjoy it.

KONDABOLU: That's surprising.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Paula, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the military reported that an American fighting for ISIS in blank had surrendered.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Syria?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Senator Bernie Sanders introduced a bill to expand blank coverage to all Americans.

POUNDSTONE: Medicare.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After multiple allegations of abuse, the mayor of blank announced his resignation on Tuesday.

POUNDSTONE: Seattle.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, automaker VW announced that by 2030, they would have blank versions of all of their models.

POUNDSTONE: Electric.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Trump administration's plan to crack down on internal leaks was blanked.

POUNDSTONE: Leaked.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, JPMorgan Chase...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...CEO Jamie Dimon called cryptocurrency blank a fraud.

POUNDSTONE: Bitcoin.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With a weekend gross of over 117 million dollars, the new adaptation of Stephen King's blank smashed box office records.

POUNDSTONE: "It."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Wisconsin man who accidentally shot a nail into his heart...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Drove himself to the ER rather than taking an ambulance saying, blank.

POUNDSTONE: Drove himself to the ER rather than taking an ambulance, shot a nail in his heart. I don't know.

SAGAL: He said, quote, "I don't like to bother people if I don't have to. And, you know, I feel pretty good. I mean, other than the nail being there."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He didn't even call 911. He just, you know, got in the car, drove himself 12 miles to the nearest hospital, at which point he found a chair, and seriously, he told a security guard, quote, "I got a nail in my chest. If you could find someone to help me out, that would be just fantastic."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I do love the Midwest. Fortunately, he's OK. So it never got to the point where he had to say to somebody, sorry, I just died. Would you mind zipping up the body bag? I'll be fine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, I think Paula did pretty well. Did she?

AMY DICKINSON: Wow.

KURTIS: She got seven out of eight.

SAGAL: Whoa.

KURTIS: Fourteen more points, with the lead at 16.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many, then, does Amy need to win?

KURTIS: Seven - 7 to win.

SAGAL: Here we go, Amy. This is for the game. Until they hear the full case in October, the Supreme Court ruled to temporarily restore parts of Trump's blank ban.

DICKINSON: Travel.

SAGAL: Yeah, Muslim ban.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Britain's Parliament passed the first major bill in the blank process.

DICKINSON: Brexit.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, rescue workers continue to aid to those affected by the 8.1 magnitude earthquake that hit blank.

DICKINSON: Mexico.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, pioneering gay rights activist Edith Windsor, whose Supreme Court challenge overturned the blank act, passed away at the age of 88.

DICKINSON: It was the marriage - Defense of Marriage Act.

SAGAL: Yes, the Defense of Marriage Act.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After British animal control was called in to capture a giant lizard hiding under a teenage girl's bed...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...They determined blank and blank.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Wait, whoa.

SAGAL: Blankity blank.

DICKINSON: It was a lizard and a boyfriend.

SAGAL: No, they determined that the lizard was really a dirty sock and also that the girl really needed to clean her room.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The family called in the complaint saying that no one was willing to enter the room for fear that the foot-long lizard might attack them. When the officer got there, she approached the unmoving animal cautiously, at least until she realized it was not a lizard at all but just a really gross sock. They were embarrassed. The family said they were relieved to hear the mix-up but not nearly as relieved as the lizard the girl had been wearing on her right foot for the past few days.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And what did the lizard say? It's a living...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Did Amy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: You know, she did well. She got 11 points, but she could not catch Paula's 16 - the big winner.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.