Lightning Fill In The Blank

Jun 10, 2017
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Paula has 1. Faith has 3. Tracy has 2.

TRACY CLAYTON: Yay.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Now, that means that, Paula, you are in last place. And that means you will go first.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: All right.

SAGAL: All right?

POUNDSTONE: That's unusual.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Paula. You're up first.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. I'm ready.

SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question.

POUNDSTONE: Cool.

SAGAL: Fill in the blank. This week, police in the U.K. identified the attackers who drove a van into pedestrians on the blank.

POUNDSTONE: The London Bridge.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, ISIS claimed responsibility for an attack on blank's parliament.

POUNDSTONE: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the White House announced plans to privatize America's blank system.

POUNDSTONE: Air traffic control.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Nashville man was charged with three misdemeanors after he blanked during a Stanley Cup Finals game.

POUNDSTONE: I don't know - ran across the ice.

SAGAL: Pulled a dead catfish out of his pants and threw it on the ice.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: At the Worldwide Developers Conference on Monday, blank unveiled HomePod, its first ever smart speaker.

POUNDSTONE: Apple?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new study released on Thursday, even moderate blanking may be bad for the brain.

POUNDSTONE: Even moderate - oh, I forget what - drinking.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A police officer in New Zealand is gaining some notoriety...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...This week after he appeared to use blank to apprehend a suspect.

POUNDSTONE: After he appeared to use blank. Oh, he used lemurs.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He used his fingers in the shape of a gun.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In the picture taken at the scene, the officer can be seen standing in front of the suspect with nothing more than a finger gun.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Surprisingly, this was enough to subdue the man who was kneeling on the ground with his hands on his head.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The man escaped, though. But the department is confident they'll recapture him by shining a light on the wall, releasing a team of shadow-puppet bloodhounds.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: (Imitating dog).

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

CLAYTON: So foolish.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Paula should feel good. Five right - 10 more points. She's in the lead with 11.

POUNDSTONE: I do.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Tracy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, reality winner. A contractor for blank was arrested for leaking documents to the press.

CLAYTON: The NSA.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the top U.S. diplomat in China stepped down, citing Trump's withdrawal from the blank.

CLAYTON: The climate change thing.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During an interview with Megyn Kelly, blank dismissed allegations of Russian election hacking.

CLAYTON: Oh, oh, the one guy. I didn't watch it because I don't particularly care for her.

(LAUGHTER)

CLAYTON: Me.

SAGAL: No. It was Vladimir Putin.

CLAYTON: I knew - (laughter) listen. I'm bad at Fill in the Blank, OK? Let's just keep going. Let's just go.

(LAUGHTER)

CLAYTON: Let's get it over with.

SAGAL: A Canadian nonprofit is encouraging people who are considering texting naked pictures of themselves instead to send pictures of blank instead.

CLAYTON: Jesus.

SAGAL: No, naked...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Naked mole rats. In an attempt to compete with Amazon, Walmart has reportedly asked employees to blank on their way home.

CLAYTON: Take naps.

SAGAL: Deliver packages.

CLAYTON: Oh, my God.

SAGAL: Residents of an apartment complex in Georgia...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Had to be rescued from the second floor after waking up to discover blank.

CLAYTON: A plague of locusts.

SAGAL: No, that the building's owners had removed the stairs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The second floor residents said they woke up to a note on the door informing them the stairwell had been removed, leaving them absolutely no way to get to ground level.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fortunately, the local fire department has had plenty of practice rescuing cats from trees and was able to get everyone down safely.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Unfortunately, instinct kicked in, and the firemen immediately brought all the residents to the local animal shelter to be spayed and neutered.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Tracy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Tracy, our newbie, got two right...

CLAYTON: Yay.

KURTIS: ...For 4 more points and a total of 6.

SAGAL: All right.

KURTIS: Paula still leads.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: There you go, Tracy.

SAGAL: How many, then, does Faith need to easily cruise to a championship?

KURTIS: 5 to win and 4 to tie.

CLAYTON: Throw it. Throw it. It's my first time.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Faith. This is for the game. On Wednesday, President Trump named Christopher Wray the new director of blank.

FAITH SALIE: FBI.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite international condemnation, blank continued to test-fire short-range missiles this week.

SALIE: North Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Egypt, the UAE and Yemen all cut off diplomatic ties with blank.

SALIE: Qatar.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, shareholders approved Verizon's $4.5 billion purchase of blank.

SALIE: Yahoo.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Drivers in Dubai faced massive delays this week thanks to a traffic jam caused by two blanks blanking in the middle of the road.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Chickens making out.

SAGAL: Camels humping.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Following a sexual-harassment investigation, ride-sharing company blank fired 20 of its employees.

SALIE: Uber.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After making more than $100 million over the weekend, blank became the biggest opening ever for a female film.

SALIE: "Wonder Woman."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Boston man upset about having his 7-Eleven...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Franchise taken away from him...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Responded by blanking.

SALIE: Deflating his balls.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: It's Boston.

SAGAL: It's Boston. Opening a store across the street called 6-Twelve.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Abu Musa had owned the 7-Eleven franchise for years before the corporate office gave it to someone else...

SALIE: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...Because Musa refused to keep selling the chain's hot dogs. In response, Musa opened a competing convenience store right down the street called 6-12, proving that revenge, like a 7-Eleven hot dog, is best served reheated.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Faith do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She did. She got a total of 15 and the lead - the win.

SAGAL: There you are.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Faith. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.