Lightning Fill In The Blank

May 6, 2017
Originally published on May 31, 2017 12:56 pm
Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players now has 60 seconds to fill in as many fill-the-blank questions as they can, each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Luke has one, Roxanne has two and Paula has three.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yeah, baby.

SAGAL: So that means, Luke, that you do get to go first.

LUKE BURBANK: Well, OK.

SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, the House voted to approve a $1 trillion spending deal to avert a blank.

BURBANK: Shutdown.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, former president blank unveiled the plans for his presidential library in Chicago.

BURBANK: Obama.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, hackers unleashed a new email phishing scam that utilized fake blank invites.

BURBANK: Google.

SAGAL: Yes, Google doc.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the U.S. territory blank filed for bankruptcy.

BURBANK: Puerto Rico.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an effort to get pedestrians to slow down and appreciate a local historic landmark, the Chinese government installed blank.

BURBANK: Selfie sticks.

SAGAL: No. Speed bumps on the sidewalks around it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, the eighth movie in the blank franchise surpassed $1 billion in ticket sales.

BURBANK: "Star Wars."

SAGAL: No, "The Fast And The Furious." A member of a Japanese water skiing team was injured this week when blank.

BURBANK: He tried to re-enact a scene from "The Fast And The Furious" eight.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, when a flying fish leapt out and hit him in the groin.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The skier was halfway through his run when the fish leapt from the water and ran right into his center mass, as the target shooters like to say, causing him to lose control and wipe out. Thankfully, the skier is OK. Thankfully, for all of us, there's a video of the whole thing that was posted on Twitter with the caption, in Japanese, the fish struck the crotch.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: In fairness, that did also happen in "Fast And The Furious..."

SAGAL: That's true.

BURBANK: ...To Vin Diesel.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Luke do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got eight more points, four right. He has a total of nine now. And Luke, you do have the lead.

SAGAL: All right. Well done, Luke. All right, I do believe, Roxanne, you're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, President Trump said he had a very good talk with blank about North Korea and Syria.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Putin.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During a speech on Tuesday, Hillary Clinton admitted that while she made some mistakes, blank was what cost her the election.

ROBERTS: Comey's letter.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the embattled president of blank called for a new constitution to end that country's political crisis.

ROBERTS: So many to choose from. I'll say Venezuela.

SAGAL: You're right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Mexico's Congress approved the use of medical blank.

ROBERTS: Marijuana.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite recent bad press, Pepsi had a boost in sales this week when people in Portland, Ore., blanked.

ROBERTS: When they couldn't get Coke.

SAGAL: No. When they bought cans to throw at police during a protest.

ROBERTS: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In a last-minute deal, the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers struck a deal with blank to avoid a strike.

ROBERTS: Writers.

SAGAL: Right, Writers Guild.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the musical "Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet Of 1812" led the 2017 blank nominations.

ROBERTS: Tony.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: While it is possible to use your cell phone as a flashlight a Florida man was stopped by police for using one as a blank.

ROBERTS: It was either as his light on a motorcycle or on his bicycle. It was the nightlight...

SAGAL: You're right.

ROBERTS: OK.

SAGAL: It was his motorcycle headlight.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: OK.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, the man attached the iPhone to a steering column with a bungee cord.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: While the department applauds the man's creativity, they say the light from an iPhone is not bright enough to stand in for a real headlight in nighttime driving. For that, you have to use the light caused by an exploding Galaxy Note 7.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Seven right...

POUNDSTONE: Woah.

ROBERTS: Wow.

KURTIS: ...And she has a total of 16.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: Aw, man. You know what? When Roxanne's here, why do I even bother?

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: You have beaten me.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, that - you must have thrown the match.

SAGAL: Well, how many does Paula need to win, Bill?

KURTIS: She needs seven to win.

SAGAL: Oh, my goodness. Here we go, Paula. On Thursday, Queen Elizabeth's husband blank announced he was retiring from royal duties.

POUNDSTONE: Prince Philip.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Bill Shine stepped down as co-president of blank.

POUNDSTONE: Fox.

SAGAL: Right, Fox News...

POUNDSTONE: Fox News.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the militant Palestinian group blank dropped their call for the destruction of Israel.

POUNDSTONE: Hamas.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Traffic in an Australian suburb was blocked this week thanks to a blank on the road.

POUNDSTONE: A - Loch Ness monster.

SAGAL: A pair of mating kangaroos. On Thursday...

POUNDSTONE: Yes.

SAGAL: Speaking of mating kangaroos, the hosts of MSNBC's morning show blank announced they were engaged.

POUNDSTONE: "Morning Joe" and morning Josephina.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I do believe she's changing her name, so I'll take it. On Thursday, Stephen Hawking said that humanity has less than 100 years to blank.

POUNDSTONE: Get its act together.

SAGAL: Well, no. Leave Earth. According to police in Oregon, a local flower shop is under investigation for stocking their shelves with blank.

POUNDSTONE: Cocaine.

SAGAL: No.

POUNDSTONE: Meth.

SAGAL: No.

POUNDSTONE: Heroin.

SAGAL: No. The flower shop was under investigation for stocking their shelves with flowers they stole from a nearby cemetery.

UNIDENTIFIED CROWD: Oh.

SAGAL: Creepy and awful, but a good business plan.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Honestly.

SAGAL: After months of bouquets disappearing from local graves, Oregon police say a security camera finally caught local flower shop owner Lynda Wingate pulling up in a van and stealing the flowers, which she would then resell from her shop. This makes Wingate either the world's most morbid florist or the world's laziest grave robber.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: You know, it just seems like such a strange crime.

SAGAL: Well...

POUNDSTONE: Any kind of floral theft I feel...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: It's just unnecessary.

SAGAL: If you could go pick up a bouquet, a perfectly nice bouquet from that grave over there and sell it to somebody for 30 bucks, it's 30 bucks in your pocket.

BURBANK: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Well, if you're going to do that, why not dig the gravestone?

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Bound to be another loving father pass away eventually.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah, that's true.

POUNDSTONE: Can't you just chisel off the name at the top?

SAGAL: Bill, did Paula do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, she got four right. She got a total of 11, but that means she did not win. But Roxanne did. She's back.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Back to dominate.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, man. I had a strategy and everything.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What was your strategy?

POUNDSTONE: Take her flowers.

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.